Anxiety, panic attacks and my anger issues

I've often suffered from anger issues, I find myself getting into more fights than a normal person, I don't start them at all, I just don't put up with anything. I tried anger management in school, but I just got angry at how patronising and stupid the guy was, and his exercises. So, it did not help. I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, mainly when I feel like I can't escape around people, I'm not chlostrophobic, it isn't not having room or anything, it's the people, I hate being around too many people. Since living in London I have definitely got better! I can take the tube without having a panic attack, and I can push my way through crowds easier.

The combination of these two conditions is a strange one, and it's hard to deal with, I get angry very easily, then I get panic-y when I'm angry because I don't want to do anything stupid, so I feel like I need to get away from everyone around me and just hit some walls. I've gotten much better at controlling it and having more decorum, I can also put up with shit from people at the bar without bottling them, so that's definitely a good thing. 

If any of you deal with either you'll know that it's frustrating, but also frustrating that you feel you're affecting the people around you and those you love most. I don't want them to have the burden of my issues, but they have to and that hurts. 

I'm going to make an extra effort this summer and at uni, to not get angry so quickly and to not have ANY panic attacks, it's a long shot but I'm really going to try. 

Wish me luck 🍀